Ever since I can remember, I wondered how my life would turn out. I wondered about my career, my home, my friends and what my path was supposed to be. During my entire time in Spain, though I loved it intensely and yearn for it continously, I was so caught up in figuring out my path that at times, I didn’t truly appreciate the one I was on. I was so anxious about finishing my degree and having a career that was impressive and that mattered. On the other hand, I also longed to travel the world, teaching English everywhere from Barcelona to Taiwan and what a life like that would be like. I wondered about wandering and how I would feel if I lived life on the fly, out of a suitcase and on my terms.
Since coming back from Spain and acheiving the goals I made for myself (Bachelors in Psychology, starting a blog) I found myself coming back to the same thoughts I had at 21. Is this my path? Should I still teach English in Taiwan? I remember thinking one night, shortly after I turned 22, that I knew I would have my life sorted by 26. That age felt right, it felt wise and older and it felt like I should have my mierda together by then. Flash forward to now and I am two weeks away from turning-eeek-28. Do I know what my future holds? Do I know my path? Not exactly. I don’t know if it’s the age I’m turning or that my life has led me to this way of thinking but I’m okay with not knowing yet. I’m finally okay with taking each day and each decision as it comes. The future can be stressful and there is definitly a push in our society to know what we’re doing and tick off all the boxes. There’s some truth to that and value to knowing those things if those are what you want. That’s the key, knowing what you want. Turning off the noise of what you think you should do and listening to what you want to do.
It can seem so overwhelming but I’ve come up with guidelines for myself that so far, have been helping me stay on track and stress out less. Maybe they can help you when life gets intense and you need to get back to basics.
List It Out
Someone once asked me what I would do for free if I could. Is it my current job? What puts you in the state of flow as Mikhail Czixkssentmihi teaches? Find what that is-and do it. Even if it’s as a hobby, having something in your life that gives you pure joy is vital. Make a list of what you love to do and make sure you do it. It will bring you closer to what you want to do for the rest of your life. For me, it’s this blog and when I share with you, I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do no matter what my 9-5 job is.
Remember that you make the best decisions you can with the information you have at the time. That takes out so much pressure and stress, at least for me. I’ve made good decisions and poor ones but looking back at them (hindsight is 20/20) everything worked out and led me what was next and even if the next step wasn’t the best, the one after was. So, once I make a decision, if I can’t change it, I accept it and quit worrying!
Goals help to guide our actions towards achievements and in turn guide our life and our thoughts to make those actions happen. It’s cyclical and that’s comforting. I’ve learned that I can always get what I want if I work hard enough and push through obstacles. It may be my stubborness but having a goal in place gives me something to strive for which helps guide my decisions daily.
On Sunday nights I tend to wish that my life will sort itself out by midnight and that I will wake up on Monday with everything decided for me. It’s important to remember that each night or each week is propelling us towards our better life. Even though change is hard, welcoming it in instead of fighting it makes it all the easier to grow and become the best version of yourself.
On A Good Life
As I said, making sense of life can sometimes be a fruitless effort. It can be like trying to make sense of a trajectory when you can’t see the end point. Sometimes, you have to know when to relax and realize that the best things often don’t make sense at first. If you’re lucky they might, because we all love instant gratification, and when things make sense we feel-immediatly-that we’re on the right track. Mostly though, we may not understand why things are happening or why we “made that decision”. Those times might even be the most important. My key to a good life is to not stress so much about what I don’t know and focus more on what I do and forget the rest.