Although I met my husband stateside, the same rules apply. Foreign men tend to be willing to put themselves out there. I don’t find they are scared of rejection of any kind. Frankly they probably aren’t used to be rejected, especially by American’s who fawn over their accent…ahem, like me. Nevertheless, they carry themselves in a way that is much more then what we call, swagger. They are unabashedly unashamed of coming over to you, talking to you, buying you a drink. They rarely send their friends over to do the work, they go themselves.
I am always asked how I met Joan and what attracted me to him. Of course it was his good looks and mysterious foreign ways, but it was also the fact that he looked me in the eye from across the room and made it very clear he was interested. If you are travelling abroad, here are ten things to know about the dating scene, at least in Spain.
1 (uno) If You Make Eye Contact Back, They Will Talk to You
We all know about the three second stare. Your eyes meet, you both hold your stare for three seconds and look away. It’s the universal sign fo acknowledgement and it gives the guy a pass to talk to you. It tells him you’re interested. Stateside, the guy might play this game for an hour or more as you exchange flirty glances across the bar all night. And he might actually never make a move. In Europe, you might have a few more minutes after that first smile before he’s walking over to you and asking where you’re from. Be prepared for that.
2 (dos) The Three Day Rule Does Not Apply
The night I met my future husband, we exchanged numbers. That evening, he texted me saying how nice it was to meet me and how much fun he had. The next day, he wrote me iniviting me to a party the next night. He didn’t mess around. Granted, he was only in the country for a few more days but he says even if he were there for a lifetime, he wouldn’t have waited. Most European men are like that. My friend told me that when he meets a girl, if at a club at night, he texts her to make sure she got home ok. Gentlemen, I tell you.
3 (tres) He May Be Into Dancing
Most men in the states, not all of course, but most, aren’t into dancing. My husband and all of his friends will get out on the dance floor and shake it. They are smooth on the floor and are not embarassed about it. They use this to make you swoon and it works. However, the dancing that women do here in the states DOES NOT translate well abroad. Grinding, twerking, booty shaking? Only girls of a certain demographic dance that way and if you do, they may think you are into shady business if you get my drift. When I first moved abroad, I danced like any normal twenty year old did at the time and my husband had to tell me, that wasn’t really ok. I had to adjust and dance like the locals and it’s far superior in my opinion. So remember, think twice before twerking like Miley when you’re abroad.
4 (cuatro) Be Prepared to Meet up Late
At least in Spain and a few other European countries, dinner is late. If your date suggests meeting for dinner at 8 or 9pm, that’s the custom. Have a snack around six and maybe a redbull! Going out any earlier will leave the restaurant or bar empty and lacking that evening buzz to help the mood. Also, a first date might not even be dinner, normally it will be suggested to meet for a drink for the first date.
5 (cinco) He Might Still Live at Home
If you meet a twenty-anything in the states and he still lives at home, laziness tends to come to mind. It’s very rare that anyone over eighteen years of age lives at home with their mother. Of course, there are extenuating circumstances but it isn’t the norm. In Spain at least, it is. Real estate is expensive, whether buying or renting and it doesn’t come cheap. It’s a different culture and way to be, so men and women may live at home until they get into serious relationships or get married. So don’t make rash judgements or write him off completely.
6 (seis) He Might Dress Better Than You
Let’s hope they don’t, but they could. European men have great style, style that is lost in translation in other parts of the world. I love the way my husband dresses, he isn’t afraid to wear colorful shirts and he never goes out in sweats, hoodies or dirty trainers. It’s just all about presentation. Think of it like a chef plating a gorgeous dish. He doesn’t throw it together and hope for the best, he puts thought into it and you appreciate that, don’t you?
Of course I am biased but foreign men have different qualities than other men. Don’t get me wrong, I have dated American men and I have plenty of American guy friends who meet many of these same points! It’s a personal preference and if it also happens to be yours, then I’m happy to share my knowledge.
Any other questions? Feel free to leave a comment or tag #wanderfullifestyle on social media and I’d be happy to answer!